Why Middle School Feels So Hard (And How Parents Can Help)

Middle school gets a bad rap for a reason. It’s a time of massive growth, transition, and emotional rollercoasters—for both kids and parents. At The Community Classroom, we work with a lot of middle schoolers, and we hear the same thing from parents over and over: “I just don’t get why this feels so hard.”

Here’s why: It is hard.

Middle schoolers are going through huge changes in their brains, bodies, friendships, and academic demands. They’re trying to figure out who they are while juggling new expectations and pressures.

But there are things parents and caregivers can do to help their middle schooler thrive (and survive this season together). Here are our best tips:

Middle schoolers feel everything BIG. Frustration, embarrassment, joy, anger. It’s all dialed way up. What helps? Stay calm. Normalize their feelings. And remember it’s not personal when they snap at you. It’s biology.

Middle school is about figuring things out—not getting everything right. Celebrate effort. Notice growth. A “you worked so hard on that!” goes a long way.

Middle schoolers still need structure, even if they pretend they don’t. Help them build routines for homework, screen time, sleep, and organization.

Middle school is practice for real life. Let your kids make mistakes. Let them try to solve problems before jumping in to teach them. Resilience grows from struggle. It’s hard to do as a caregiver, but let them struggle.

Here’s the truth: Sometimes you are not your child’s best teacher, coach, or accountability partner. And that’s okay. Middle schoolers often benefit from another trusted adult—someone who isn’t their parent—to guide them, cheer them on, and hold them accountable.

That’s where tutoring or academic coaching can be a game-changer. It’s not just about homework help—it’s about giving your child space to grow with support from someone who gets it.

The Community Classroom works with middle schoolers every day to build skills, confidence, and independence. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let someone else step in beside them.

We’re here for that.

Learn more about our personalized tutoring and coaching here.

Want to learn more about the middle school brain?

• Read this article from the Pew Charitable Trust.
• Check out this article from Edutopia.